Heritage Camps Blog

Well, it's that time of year again - the time when I must hold my hand out to you to ask for year-end donations.  Each year when I hold out my hand, my heart is what fills up.  I can never quite believe how generous our camp families, cultural community, and friends of both can be towards Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families (HCAF)!  It just does my heart good, and REALLY helps fill the coffers that have been spent and spent to create these meaningful camp experiences for families.

I love what one parent wrote on a camp evaluation this year. I'm paraphrasing a bit, but it was along the lines of "My son looked at me one day and said "I live for three days (at Heritage Camp) every year!'" And there are many other comments so similar to that about how our camps make a difference in a child's life, a teen's life, and in a parent's life. I know that is certainly true for my family.

I don't know if you are aware of how vital your individual donations are to HCAF.  It is very difficult to convince foundations who are struggling to give grants during these tough economic times anyway, that things like self-esteem, identity building, and a sense of pride in who you are and where you came from is important in the life of an adopted child; or that support networks, education, and connection with each other is important in the life of an adoptive family.  They simply don't see our need as being great, in comparison to organizations who serve the underpriveleged or the ill or the hungry.  But darn it, those things ARE important, and help to develop happy, healthy children and families.  What could be more important? So, we have to rely on individual donations, and that is why my hand is out to you yet again!  I know you will fill my heart this year as always, and for that I am forever grateful. 

To donate, simply go to our web site, www.heritagecamps.org. Thank you!

On this Thanksgiving Eve, I am of course thankful for my dear friends and family, but I am lucky enough to have dear friends and family that extend well beyond those in my immediate circle.

In fact, one of those dear friends, a long time Korean Heritage Camp dad, former Heritage Camp Board member, and all around great guy, Mike Grenda, unexpectedly passed away on Sunday after a long illness. Mike was one of those "camp dads" who did things like push the big yellow truck out of the mud on a particularly rainy camp weekend, chaperone those rowdy high school campers on the overnight campouts we used to have, spend hours chopping chicken for lunch, then grilling it, after figuring out how to keep the grill lit, run to Frasier for countless "little things" we missed, load and unload that truck every single year, and return to camp as an alum every year since his daughter (now 24 years old) graduated from camp. He was always just there, lending a hand, telling a good joke, and supporting us all the way.  We at KHC will miss you Mike, and thank you for being the kind of "camp dad" and person you were.

And....there are countless other "camp dads and moms" just like Mike, who we simply could not run this organization without!  Creative people, hardworking people, generous people, and unbelievably devoted people who every year, make our camps run, and who know firsthand what the experience means to their children, and to ALL of the children and families who come to camp! There are those crazy, wonderful people on the "front lines," who are board members, camp directors, and camp coordinators, and there are those amazing people "behind the scenes" who simply come to camp with a full heart and a "roll up the sleeves" attitude that make it all so much easier! I wish I could list you all here, but there is probably some "blogging rule" about that!  I hope you know who you are - in your hearts I know you do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. We couldn't do it without you! Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! 

 

In every parent's life, there are times of feeling "not good enough," or inadequate in some way or another, right? RIGHT! Whenever I have moments like that (and yes indeed they still occur even when the kids are adults), I am so very, very glad that I have my "Heritage Camp Moms" to call on and count on. These are people in my life I truly never would have known without Heritage Camps, fellow adoptive moms who simply "get it." No need to explain about things like attachment or identity or even just regular old kid issues that may have that "extra layer" of adoption over them. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to call on these women, in my case, from several different camps, and know they will just listen, and understand, and be there. Of course my close friends who are not Heritage Camp moms are wonderful too, but there is just that "extra layer" of friendship too, that comes with being fellow adoptive parents. 20 years ago, when we started this Heritage Camp journey, I never expected these special and lifelong friendships to be one of the gifts I would receive, and I am so grateful to have these women in my life; the ones who just "get it." It never ceases to amaze me that I never would have even known them without Heritage Camps, and I think it is truly one of the BEST reasons to bring your family to camp! I can't imagine all these years of parenting without my "Heritage Camp Moms!" I love you all and Happy Adoption Month! Thank you for 20 amazing years......

November is National Adoption Month as proclaimed by President Obama, http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2011/11/01/presidential-proclamation-national-adoption-month-2011. It is always good to know that we adoptive families are being recognized and celebrated. Celebrating National Adoption Month in my family was always easy, because our daughter's Arrival Day is November 10th, 1986 - 25 years ago! Sometimes it seems like just yesterday, and sometimes it seems like forever ago! She arrived from Korea at 4 months old, and of course was the most beautiful baby we'd ever seen! She is now living back in Korea, teaching English in Seoul, and is still beautiful! For her Arrival Day, my husband and I always took her out to dinner (without little brother) wherever she wanted to go. The Spaghetti Factory was popular for awhile, and then that changed to the Cheesecake Factory, and then more trendy spots. Then off to college she went, so it was phone calls and e-mail greetings to wish her "Happy Arrival Day," and let her know November 10th was and alwasy will be one of the very happiest days of our lives. And we'll do that again this year too while she is back in her birth country where it all began... How does your family celebrate? Let us know! A good site I found with ideas for celebrations is: http://national-adoption-month.adoption.com/. We'd love to hear from you!

I once heard an "expert" in the field of adoption talk about Mother's Day as a time to sit with your children and talk about their birth mother, and about how much she sacrificed for them, and must have loved them to be able to give them up.  So, being the young, impressionable mother that I was at the time, I gave it a shot with my kids.  Whoa, did that ever NOT work!  My daughter looked at me like I was crazy, and said, "I don't want to talk about this," storming off in a huff. My son burst into tears and informed me I ruined Mother's Day for him, and he wasn't about to give me the construction paper flower he made for me at school!

Here, I really thought I was going to open up all kinds of wonderful dialog with my kids about their birth mother, after learning from the "expert" that it was the perfect time to do so! Instead, it seemed to take away their chance to just be "normal," and give their mom a construction paper flower.  I have learned a great deal since then...not from any "expert," but from my children. They talked about their birth parents when THEY wanted to, when THEY were ready, not when I sat them down for a forced conversation.  I am sure there are still experts out there saying Mother's Day is a good time to open up this conversation and I also have no doubt that for some families, it really does work in the best way. I only want to offer another point of view based on experience. A very wise and wonderful Korean adult adoptee once said to me, "It is THEIR journey, not yours....let them take it and feel glad when they ask you to join them."  Both of my kids have taken me on their journeys now and then, in their own very different ways, and for that I am indeed glad. Nothing makes me happier in the world than being their mother!

Happy Mother's Day! 

hank you to all of you who attended our More Than You and Me Galalast weekend! It really was so much fun this year, and I loved nothing more than seeing that mass of our counselors on the stage, and then seeing how many people supported them in the paddle raiser.  It was also such an honor to have so many of our cultural community members with us at the Gala.  Their support for our heritage camps just extends well beyond those four days of camp, and that means so much to all of us.  And of course,  it is so much fun for me to see all those camp parents in something other than their camp t-shirts, having such a good time mixing with each other from all of our camps!  Dancing at the end was such a kick with people from Indian/Nepalese Camp, Chinese Camp II, Chinese Camp, African/Caribbean Camp, REECA Camp, Korean Camp, and more!  Such a great mix of people - your support means the world to me,and to the Board of Directors.  We grossed over $40,000 this year - wow!

Special thanks to Barbara Goldman, our Gala Chairperson, and to our Gala Committee, Namita Nariani, Jim Dickson, Marion Delanoy, May Tran, Karen Melusky, and to our auction coordinator, Kerri-Ann Appleton.  We couldn't do it without you!

I am really excited about our annual More Than You and Me Gala coming up this Saturday! It is really going to be spectacular this year!  We have a new video, "Heritage Camp Voices" to show you, plus great entertainment from our Korean, Indian, and African American communities!  Television reporter Stephanie Riggs is our fabulous emcee, and we have some amazing silent and live auction items this year!  Am I using too many explanation points?  Probably because it really is going to be a blast!  The ethnic food buffet is delicious, and the dancing will be fun for all ages (not just those of us who went to college in the 70s). I go to a lot of these events throughout the year, and I have to say ours is the most diverse event I've ever been to! It is so wonderful to celebrate with our cultural community volunteers, counselors, parents, and friends in the community!  Come join us - there are a few seats still available.  You can buy tickets through our web site at www.heritagecamps.org.  Come have some fun, support EVERY one of our heritage camps, and our "More Than Me" program.  Hope to see you Saturday!

Well, everyone says we should do it. We want to stay relevant and in touch. We want to have a presence in the blogsphere. We want to BLOG!!  So, here goes folks....our CHC blog has begun!